urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns Or, how I learned to stop worrying and despise the Righteous Right Alan S***** 2006-01-09T07:05:01Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:87625 2006-01-09T07:05:01Z 2006-01-09T07:05:01Z "I keep smiling and it's not because I'm stoned" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:87296 2005-11-26T06:10:21Z 2005-11-26T06:10:21Z My cat is to me as an electric blanket is to my cat. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:87191 2005-09-10T02:04:07Z 2005-09-10T02:04:07Z Remember when I used to post in my livejournal? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:87019 2005-08-08T17:20:43Z 2005-08-08T17:20:43Z "Oh, let me be mawkish for the nonce! I am so tired of being cynical." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:86688 2005-08-08T04:14:52Z 2005-08-08T04:18:40Z From 215-445 we went through fifty plus beers. Up from the 30 we went through last week. Rock. There were about 15 more people there (30+) than there was last Friday(15ish). I think we got to bed around 6? These numbers are extremely hazy. And instead of just one car roof being madeout on in the parking lot, there were two. Simultaneously. At about 430 again. Our neighbors must think that we moved in from Sodom and Gomorrah. Though I yelled at Shannon for burning a fourth party CD, it turned out that it was a necessity (But the Barry White and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy I put on CD1 is what made the party). I don't remember much of what went on between when I was in the kitchen (cue R. Kelly reference) and when I found myself in the parking lot. I remember dangling Jenny off the railing on the backporch, meeting a neighbor who had wandered in while I was in a compromising position and trying to introduce myself, and... umm... lots of dancing. If you have stories (and I know there were people with cameras, especially in the parking lot) then email me with them. :)<br /><br />Band should be playing in early october! \m/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:86322 2005-08-05T09:20:30Z 2005-08-05T09:20:30Z Stay away from me. I am a bad person. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:86032 2005-08-01T17:52:18Z 2005-08-01T17:52:18Z Also, those that know me may find this humorous-<br /><br />I am currently listening to Buckcherry, and I love it.<br /><br />Summer + Buckcherry = LIVE RIOT ALAN! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:85934 2005-08-01T17:24:19Z 2005-08-01T17:24:19Z I am thirty pages into Lolita and it is fucking awesome. But no matter how much I enjoy this book, nobody better let me grow a toucher mustache. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:85694 2005-08-01T03:23:56Z 2005-08-01T03:23:56Z So, with two weeks remaining for summer reading, I thought I'd see how I've done.<br /><br />Things read:<br /><br /><i>The Illiad and the Odyssey</i> - I like Greek mythology.<br /><i>This Side of Paradise</i> - Awesome. I love Fitzgerald<br /><i>The Beautiful and the Damned</i> Awesomer, but a little more bloated.<br /><i>Waiting for the Barbarians</i> Totally sweet book.<br /><i>A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man</i> I didn't like. Hard for me to get through. I dreaded reading this.<br /><i>Wonder Boys</i> So good. Not as good as <i>Kavalier and Clay</i>, but still awesome.<br /><i>Sons and Lovers</i> This is what Joyce's book should have been. I liked, but didn't love. Weird Oedipus stuff, great writing.<br /><i>David Copperfield</i> Dude, Charles Dickens is the bomb. This is what I read for "fun" (besides Chabon). Knowing about his life makes his other stuff seem richer.<br /><i>The Metamorphosis</i> by Kafka. This was cool, but, dude? He's really a bug?<br /><i>The Great Gatsby</i> So amazing. So amazing. So amazing. I read all three of these books in order, and Gatsby was the money shot.<br />and I'm most of the way through <i>Middlesex</i><br />and I'll probably get to The Aeneid<br /> <br />I substituted David Copperfield for Bleak House, but I totally nixed Joyce from my list. I doubt I'll be able to get through Ulysses in two weeks. I didn't touch Ovid either. Now I'm debating between Lolita by Nabokov, The Sound and the Fury by Faulkner, and The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon. I'm likely to go with Lolita. I give myself a "Pretty good" for reading this summer.<br /><br />I give myself a "FUCKING RIGHTEOUS, BRO! HIGH FIVE" for the party last night. The high five, unlike 73% of them, would totally be warranted*.<br /><br />*<font size="-2">these statistics reported by the onion</font><br /><br />Oh my god. So awesome. Everyone needs to come to the I7 after parties. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:85368 2005-07-23T23:20:05Z 2005-07-23T23:21:46Z I own five shirts with blue stripes in them. I also own a CBGBs t-shirt. I don't really like punk rock, nor have I ever been there. Someone buy me a lite beer at Coachouse urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:85207 2005-07-23T21:32:52Z 2005-07-23T21:32:52Z Shannon almost gets in three fights<br />Sister dancing on the DJ booth, drunk<br />Alan on the dance floor?<br />VIP Room :-D<br /><br />Awesome. Y'all that didn't come missed out. Bamboo Room = pwn3d urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:84824 2005-07-22T06:27:55Z 2005-07-22T06:27:55Z AHHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br /><br />DRUNK<br /><br />DRINK REAL BIG!<br /><br />SMILES REAL BIG!<br /><br />Go on brush your shoulder off.<br /><br />This shit was bananas. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:84505 2005-07-22T00:59:45Z 2005-07-22T00:59:45Z eAlanSnider: mega lame<br />eAlanSnider: I am a hot guy and need to be fawned over<br />InaptlyYours: i need to set up some dekalb tap-satellites because driving to chicago at 4am on a saturday mornin just isnt cuttin it<br />eAlanSnider: hahahahahahahahaha<br />eAlanSnider: that sux yo<br />InaptlyYours: yeah<br />eAlanSnider: but sounds like what I've been doing the last 2 weeks<br />eAlanSnider: hahaha<br />eAlanSnider: Dude!<br />InaptlyYours: haha<br />InaptlyYours: DUDE<br />eAlanSnider: We should've been carpooling<br />InaptlyYours: hahahaha<br />eAlanSnider: the ass carpool<br />InaptlyYours: aaaaaaahaha!!!<br />InaptlyYours: man, to think how much we could both save on gasoline! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:84345 2005-07-21T02:51:10Z 2005-07-21T02:51:10Z <a href="http://theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4129">http://theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4129</a><br />"Hey, I don't want to brag, but when you got it, you got it. And when it comes to picking up women with severe personality disorders, I've got it."<br />---<br />Man Who Lost Leg To Whale Decides To Let It Go<br /><br />NEW BEDFORD, MA—Sources close to 58-year-old Samuel Rahal, a commercial fishing-boat captain who lost his right leg in a great-white-whale attack last March, announced Monday that he has put the incident behind him and is getting on with his life. "The first to guess the score of next Tuesday's Red Sox game gets this golden coin!" Rahal told his crew as he nailed a Sacagawea dollar to the cabin of his trawler. "Now, let's get this boat full of haddock so we can call it an early day." Rahal said he plans to replace his custom-made whalebone prosthesis with an OrthoPro with flex-foot and hydraulic knee.<br />---<br /><br />"Recklessness is almost a man's revenge on his woman. He feels he is not valued, so he will risk destroying himself to deprive her altogether."<br /><br />Onion<br />Onion<br />D.H. Lawrence urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:84058 2005-07-01T18:04:03Z 2005-07-01T18:04:03Z "Whether it was the following Sunday when I saw the gentleman again, or whether there was any greater lapse of time before he reappeared, I cannot recall. I don't profess to be clear about dates. But there he was, in church, and he walked home with us afterwards. He came in, too, to look at a famous geranium we had, in the parlour-window. It did not appear to me that he took much notice of it, but before he went he asked my mother to give him a bit of the blossom. She begged him to choose it for himself, but he refused to do that - I could not understand why - so she plucked it for him, and gave it into his hand. He said he would never, never part with it any more; and I thought he must be quite a fool not to know that it would fall to pieces in a day or two." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:83861 2005-06-28T17:20:00Z 2005-06-28T17:20:00Z Well, I finally pwnz0r3d A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I'm now 6 days behind schedule (an entire Michael Chabon book). We'll see if I can make up the difference.<br /><br />I cut off all my hair, by the way. I'm pretty sure everyone on my friends list already knows this, though. I'll have to develop a new repetoire of non-hair-related rock moves. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:83705 2005-06-24T18:06:49Z 2005-06-24T18:06:49Z "Anything that ten people a year can do well enough to pass muster has become so easy that it isn't worth the doing."<br /><br />-F. Scott Fitzgerald<br /><br />Sorry, I'm listening to an audiobook at work right now and liked that quote. I wasn't trying to inspire you all, but I thought this would be the easiest way to hang on to it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:83348 2005-06-18T05:55:26Z 2005-06-18T05:55:26Z Mission accomplished. Should finish up this novel by Sunday. I am ashamed of not having read more Fitzgerald.<br /><br />"...desire just cheats you. It's like a sunbeam skipping here and there about a room. It stops and guilds some inconsequential object, and we poor fools try to grasp it - but when we do the sunbeam moves on to something else, and you've got the inconsequential part, but the glitter that made you want it is gone-" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:82966 2005-06-17T04:37:59Z 2005-06-17T21:33:53Z Day one of the summer reading syllabus: Completed.<br /><br />"Intelligence is little more than a short foot-rule by which we measure the infinite achievements of Circumstances." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:82852 2005-06-16T04:50:41Z 2005-06-16T04:50:41Z I am sure that I will look back at myself by the end of the summer and laugh at my overly ambitious, stupid self.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><br />June 16th The Beautiful And The Damned 237-302<br /><br />June 17th TBATD 302-367<br /><br />June 18th TBATD 367-432<br /><br />June 19th TBATD 432-449 Waiting For The Barbarians 1-48<br /><br />June 20th WFTB 48-113<br /><br />June 21st WFTB 113-152 Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man170-196<br /><br />June 22nd PotA Finish<br /><br />June 23rd Wonder Boys 1-65<br /><br />June 24th Wonder Boys 65-130<br /><br />June 25th Wonder Boys 130-195<br /><br />June 26th Wonder Boys 195-260<br /><br />June 27th Wonder Boys 260-325<br /><br />June 28th Wonder Boys 325-368 Sons and Lovers 1-22<br /><br />June 29th Sons and Lovers 22-87<br /><br />June 30th Sons and Lovers 87-152<br /><br />July 1 Sons and Lovers 152-217<br /><br />July 2 Sons and Lovers 217-282<br /><br />July 3 Sons and Lovers 282-347<br /><br />July 4 Sons and Lovers 347-412<br /><br />July 5 Sons and Lovers 412-456 Bleak House 1-21<br /><br />July 6 Bleak House 21-86<br /><br />July 7 Bleak House 86-151<br /><br />July 8 Bleak House 151-216<br /><br />July 9 Bleak House 216-281<br /><br />July 10 Bleak House 281-346<br /><br />July 11 Bleak House 346-411<br /><br />July 12 Bleak House 411-476<br /><br />July 13 Bleak House 476 - 541<br /><br />July 14 Bleak House 541 - 606<br /><br />July 15 Bleak House 606 - 671<br /><br />July 16 Bleak House 671 - 736<br /><br />July 17 Bleak House 736 - 801<br /><br />July 18 Bleak House 801 - 866<br /><br />July 19 Bleak House 866-880 Ulysses 1-36<br /><br />July 20 Ulysses 36-87<br /><br />July 21 Ulysses 87-138<br /><br />July 22 Ulysses 138-189<br /><br />July 23 Ulysses 189-240<br /><br />July 24 Ulysses 240-291<br /><br />July 25 Ulysses 291-342<br /><br />July 26 Ulysses 342-393<br /><br />July 27 Ulysses 393-444<br /><br />July 28 Ulysses 444-495<br /><br />July 29 Ulysses 495-546<br /><br />July 30 Ulysses 546-597<br /><br />July 31 Ulysses 597-648<br /><br />August 1 Ulysses 648-699<br /><br />August 2 Ulysses 699-Finish<br /><br />August 3 Ovid 1-65<br /><br />August 4 Ovid 65-130<br /><br />August 5 Ovid 130 - 195<br /><br />August 6 Ovid 195 - 260<br /><br />August 7 Ovid 260-280 Kafka 1-45<br /><br />August 8 Kafka 45-110<br /><br />August 9 Kafka 110-150<br /><br />August 10 GRACE DAY<br /><br />August 11 GRACE DAY<br /><br />August 12 GRACE DAY<br /><br />August 13 GRACE DAY<br /><br />August 14 GRACE DAY urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:82556 2005-06-10T14:02:28Z 2005-06-10T14:02:28Z Current favorite six songs, then pick six people to do it back.<br /><br />I think I don't even have 6 friends that post regularly, so I'll just make Angelina do it.<br /><br />The Seed 2.0 - The Roots<br />Southern Fried Intro - Ludacris<br />Why Do You Get All The Love In The World - NIN<br />How I Could Just Kill A Man - RATM version<br />Anti-Gravity Love - Incubus<br />In The Meantime - Spacehog<br /><br />One song from this year. Man, I suck. It was hard not to put something from Tiny Music on there, since I've been listening to that album a lot lately. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:82247 2005-05-26T01:34:12Z 2005-05-26T01:34:12Z I've finally found someone else who's not a 14 year old girl that likes My Chemical Romance, so I'ma come out of the closet and admit that I really like "It's Not Okay" and "Helena." Yes, I know this is several months past schedule, but they are incredibly emo, so give me a break. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:81963 2005-05-20T01:53:12Z 2005-05-20T01:53:12Z Things I am reading: <i>The Odyssey, This Side of Paradise</i> <br />Things on my shelf that I have to read: Ulysses, The Red Badge of Courage, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Around The World In Eighty Days, Wuthering Heights, David Copperfield, Bleak House, Don Quixote, Sons And Lovers, Islands in the Stream, Issac Babel's collected Stories, Will In The World, Metamorphoses of both the Ovid and Kafka persuasions, Beloved (about a 100 pages or so), The White Jacket, Go Ask Alice, The Fixer, The Beautiful and the Damned, Paradise Lost, Collections by Flannery O'Connor and Raymond Carver, the Hemingway stories I haven't read yet, and the last 100 or so pages of A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man<br />Things I'd like to have on my shelf to add to the damned list: Waiting For The Barbarians, The Stranger, Nausea, The Sound and the Fury, Things Fall Apart, and more things by Vonnegut and Chabon<br /><br />Anyone have any advice, suggestions, recommendations?<br /><br />Also, I will be working at Borders and the campus library this summer. If anyone feels the urge to add some non-printed excitement to my life, feel free.<br /><br />At the library, I will be digitizing African American short stories from 1900-1905. Sort of like a Bartleby the Scrivener for a new generation. eScrivening, I think it's called.<br /><br />God, this post smells like library dust. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:81698 2005-05-09T05:21:12Z 2005-05-09T05:21:12Z I haven't posted in this thing in two months because of myspace and facebook. I thought I would surprise all of you with a little banality.<br /><br /><center><table width="500">&lt;td&gt;<center><u><font size="7" face="verdana">You are a guitar.</font></u><br><br><img src="http://tinypic.com/vv1iw"><br><br></center><font face="verdana" size="2">You are a musical genius... congratulations. Most people think you are a little obsessed with music, but that's okay. You don't care what other people think. You are independent, and would rather have a few good (and weird) friends than a lot of not-so-good ones. You may feel that people run down your eccentricity, but that's only because they're jealous. You will most likely become very successful with your musical talent. \m/ Rock on!<br><br>Most compatible with: <a href="http://www.boomspeed.com/dollzheaven2/drumstick.html">Drumstick</a>.<br><br><br><a href="http://www.boomspeed.com/dollzheaven2/quiz1.html">Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?</a><br></font>&lt;/td&gt;</table><br /><br />How'd you like that?!<br /><br />I read 3876 pages of literature this semester.</center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:chainsnguns:81569 2005-03-11T08:26:55Z 2005-03-11T08:26:55Z 1400 words for a 1000 word essay. After three revisions. Fuck me.